I was sitting in a local coffee shop on Saturday morning, watching people coming and going in the heavy rain that was more monsoon than April shower. People were really struggling to walk along while keeping their umbrellas in their hands and the rain off. Faces all scrunched up in effort, shoulders hunched over, both hands gripping the umbrella, it looked a real struggle for a lot of people.

But every now and then I saw someone who was walking along as if it wasn’t raining at all. They didn’t carry an umbrella, they weren’t hunched over, their faces were relaxed and it looked like they were simply going about their business. It kind of winded me for a moment, because I saw right in front of me a glaringly simple example of what I’m always going on about with my clients – hootlessness.

It’s become one of my favourite words, first introduced to me by Michael Neill and originating from part of the Sedona Method. What is hottlessness? It’s a state of not giving a hoot about the outcome; it’s letting go of your attachment to what you want and simply allowing things to happen.

There’s a common assumption or belief that you need to fight or struggle to get what you want. All too often we think that we won’t be ‘happy’ until that moment comes along where you get what you want or get where you want to be going. The position that way too many people have adopted is that you need to fight and struggle or be unhappy until what you want comes along. Absolutely not true.

Hootlessness is knowing that your happiness isn’t dependant on getting the things you want. It’s knowing that you can get the things you really want, but that you don’t have to struggle, fight or suffer to get them. As long as you believe that you’re unhappy until you get what you want and you struggle, fight and suffer to get it, you’ll always have to struggle, fight and suffer and you’ll continue to be unhappy.

Just like the people in the rain, the people who thought they had to struggle were struggling. The people I saw who weren’t struggling were the people who knew full-well it was raining, but went about doing what they wanted to do, were enjoying their day and actually seemed lighter on their feet as a result.

An important point – don’t think for a second that hootlessness is the same as not caring, not feeling, ignoring anything ‘bad’ or can be boiled down to simple positive thinking (which is about as much use as a concrete parachute). You can be hootless and still care deeply about what’s important to you and still go after what matters.

Hootlessness is freedom, but it’s not apathy. It happens when you know what you really want and let go of the ‘Must make it happen, gotta get there, must do it now‘ approach. Hootlessness allows the best part of you to take the lead, the part that knows who you are and what you can do, and the part that’s more graceful, more fun- loving and does things with ease.

Hootlessness and real inner confidence are closely woven together, which is why this idea is such an important one to get hold of. So get out there in the rain and don’t give a hoot.