The Confidence Guy

Wired into Truly Confident Living

Jan 06

7 Ways to Win in 2009There’s a bunch of stuff I want this year.  Here are just a few –

I want to be healthy again.
I want to laugh myself silly, ’til I start squeaking.
I want to surround myself with people who inspire me.
I want to play a bigger, better game.
I want to make lots of new friends to play with.
I want to shake things up a little in the too-comfortable world of coaching.
I want to inspire others to do really cool things.
I want to be a better friend.
I want to be a published writer.
I want to work in New York City for a while.
I want the important people in my life to know they’re important.

The way I see it all of these things are achievable, and I’m working on all of them with the intention of playing my best game throughout.

It’s an approach I learned from the legendary coach Dave Buck, and it’s my job as a confidence coach – getting people to play their best game and to do it with natural confidence.

There’s one important thing to figure out before you stand a chance of getting what you want and winning in 2009 – you need to know what game you want to play.

I’ve written a lot recently about how goals come with problems and how games are different, but I’m not going to rant about goals again here (you’ll be pleased to hear).

What I will reiterate is that games are different.

Your game is something that matters to you, and something that you want to get going with because you want to win.

Your game is something that you’re working on; something that you’re creating, achieving or expressing.  Your game is something you can engage with on an ongoing basis.

Your game is something you want to play.

I don’t mean “game” in the negative sense, as in how people sometimes play games with other people.  There’s nothing  negative about it.

Real success requires that you choose a game you want to play, which sounds like a no-brainer but how many times have you started something that half way through you realised that you weren’t that bothered with after all?  How many times have you seen others get into a project that you know full well they don’t really want to do or won’t to see through to the end?

The reason is that people end up doing what they think they want, not what they really want — so the point is to put a name to something that you deep-down want to play.

Pete Sampras always plays to winImagine if Roger Federer came along to Wimbledon and realised that he didn’t really want to play tennis. Imagine if Obama didn’t really want to be President.  You can bet your tush that he wouldn’t be moving into the Lincoln bedroom.

Successful people identify what really matters to them, they fully engage with the game and they learn how to play it well.

More than that, successful people figure out what winning looks like.  They don’t go by someone else’s definition of winning and they don’t make assumptions about what it is.  They look at their game and figure out what it is to win, then they bring their game to life.

Holy moly, just writing about this approach gets me fired up.

But the sad fact is that the possibility of defeat or failure is why most people don’t play the games they really want to play.  The possibility that you can try for what you really want and not get it is heart-breaking, and it’s enough to stop the majority of people in their tracks.

But being willing to play the game is where things happen.

That’s where you learn how to play the game well and that’s where you feel a great sense of completion or fulfillment from however the game turns out.

Don’t just play the small games you know you can win, and certainly don’t play at the games that aren’t winnable or that you don’t even want to play. Play the BIG games, the games that are personal to you and your life,and get ready to learn how to play brilliantly

My game?

My game is the ‘Best Confidence Coach in the World’ game, and I’m looking forward to playing.

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