‘I can’t do that‘, ‘There’s no point in doing that‘, ‘That’s not really my thing‘ and ‘You gotta be kidding me, I’m outa here‘ are just some of the things that we tell ourselves when things look risky.  You talk yourself out of things, you put yourself down, you beat yourself up, make excuses and tell yourself that you don’t want, can’t get or aren’t good enough to have what you want.

Stop it, it simply doesn’t work.  In order to win, you need to get a grip of what’s happening in your head.

This is about the part of you that I call the Gremlin.  That’s the part of you that chimes up when there’s change in the air and says “Run! Hide! Don’t move!”

The Gremlin is the part of you that holds you back and doesn’t want you to try out new things because you might screw up or end up with egg on your face.  Your Gremlin would love it if you stayed under the duvet every day and avoided eggs altogether.

A bit like a really lazy vegan, only with less optimism.

You see, change is where the risk is — that’s where things might not work out exactly as you want them to, and that’s what your Gremlin is trying to protect you from.

Your Gremlin thinks that change is a royal pain in the arse, and will dodge and weave to avoid it.

What kind of impact does that have on your confidence?  A big one.  As big as a big thing in big town during big week.  Understanding that you grow your confidence muscle by working it, having an influence in your life that actively seeks out ways for you not to try anything new has a direct bearing on your self-confidence.

You won’t have the chance to develop your confidence muscle if your Gremlin prevents you from taking opportunities and trying out new things.  Your level of confidence will grow smaller and smaller, until your Gremlin is calling all the shots in your life, and there you are – less than you really are and living in fear.

I’m not about to tell you that change is easy or taking a risk is simple — exposing yourself to change and risk can scare the crap out of you, and to be brutally honest change can be awkward and even painful.

But those aren’t good enough reasons not to go forwards if you know deep down that going forwards matters.

“There are costs and risks to a program of action, but they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.” – John F. Kennedy

Truth is, all your Gremlin wants is for you to be safe, warm and comfortable, but his methods involve using every dirty trick he can think of.  He knows you exceptionally well and will tell you exactly what you need to hear to keep you away from change, risk and opportunity.

He knows the lines that will persuade you away from a course of action, and he knows how to manipulate you into inaction.

That’s why you need to figure out exactly what happens in your head when there’s change or risk in the air. You need to learn what the Gremlin says to you to keep you where you are; you need to learn the excuses and twisted logic he uses, because it’s only by acknowledging the Gremlin when he speaks up that you can say “Oh it’s you.  Thanks for checking in, but this is important to me and I’ll be just fine.”

Don’t let the little tinker get his own way – you’re far more capable than he gives you credit for.