“Stop giving a shit about the end goal,” says Naomi Dunford

Naomi Dunford has a potty mouth.  She’s also bloody brilliant at what she does, laugh out loud funny and always has something to say that makes you stop and think.

She’s becoming something of a celebrity when it comes to her blog and what she knows about marketing, and she’s someone people pay attention to.

I like her.  Here’s what she has to say about self-confidence.

1. There are so many different definitions of what confidence is and isn’t – what does real “confidence” mean to you?
OK, I’ll admit it. I looked this up. Holy crap, there really ARE a lot of definitions! What I like is “freedom from doubt”. It’s the absence of sitting around thinking, “OHMYGOD! What if I can’t do it? What if it doesn’t work out? What if I die homeless and alone? Whatifwhatifwhatif?”

2. Everyone has times in their life when their confidence takes a battering – what role has a lack of confidence played in your life?
I’m generally pretty confident, so this doesn’t play a huge role. But when it does become a factor is when I’m feeling desperate. Like, I really want this product to sell. Or I really want this house or this car. It’s easy to be confident when you don’t give a shit about the end goal. When it matters more, confidence tends to erode.

3. What did you learn from that?
Stop giving a shit about the end goal. I’ve realized that if I can separate this particular item/goal/possession and take a broader view, my desperation goes away and my confidence comes back.

4. How has self-confidence helped you in your career and personal life?
Well, it made me almost $200,000 last year. Does that count? I went from high school dropout in a homeless shelter to serious business owner in far less than a decade. You can’t do that without confidence

5. Where would you love to be more self-confident, or where do you think you’d benefit from having more confidence?
The more high profile my projects get, the more I have to remind myself not to fall into the low self-confidence trap. I have to consistently tell myself that I’m capable and likable and very unlikely to fail. If I could wave a wand and make that process automatic, I’d save myself a lot of time.

6. What’s your best piece of advice for someone who has a lack of self-confidence?
It doesn’t fucking matter. When you’re lacking self-confidence, everything takes on these colossal implications. What if people laugh at us? What if we lose our job? What if we don’t make this sale?

It doesn’t matter. The sooner we realize that, the happier we’ll be.

More about Naomi
Naomi Dunford is the founder of IttyBiz, the cult hit website for solo entrepreneurs, home business owners and freelancers. She created the site when she realized the reason most small businesses fail is because of one thing — marketing. Or, more importantly, the lack of decent marketing.

She lives in her dream home with her dream family in a tiny village just north of London, England.