Comments on: How to Deal with People Who Put You Down

By: Steve

Steve — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 07:48:30 +0000

@Juhn: Sometimes it’s the only move left to you, right? How are you doing now?

By: juhn

juhn — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 02:24:27 +0000

#4. I’ve done that hundreds of times, it works.

By: Steve

Steve — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 14:49:34 +0000

@Elizabeth: Hun, you gotta do *something*. Keeping things going as they are is not an option – the price you pay will be way too high. You need to find a way to communicate to him clearly that when he says x you feel y. It’s not about blaming him or finger pointing, it’s simply making clear the connection between his action and your reaction.

And that’s the bigger area – your reaction. Is there a way for you to react differently, or to interpret things differently? Are you perceiving his behaviour in a way that reinforces a belief or story you’re telling yourself about yourself?

The bottom line is that you can’t allow someone else to damage you just because it’s easier – you gotta make choices that serve you well. I’m soon to release a new e-book on how to turn this very situation around so stay tuned for that, but in the meantime let me know how you’re doing.

By: elizabeth

elizabeth — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 06:05:32 +0000

Hi,I am a 19 year old mom and my boyfriend is 21.he always finds a way to put me down just for the fact that I haven’t gotten my high school diploma,dont have a good paying job.he bought a house and always tells me if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be anything with out him.he says really painful things about me in front of everybody he even says I look like a crack head(I’m not).but it has lowered my self esteem a lot.what can I do so he would not put me down so much.I tried talking never worked

By: Steve

Steve — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 10:08:43 +0000

@Martha: Martha, it’s impossible for me to comment specifically as I don’t know what’s happening within your family. Your willingness to change is admirable – but what’s the reason for the change? Is it because your family are shouting at you or because you want to change? You don’t have to tolerate being treated badly and it’s your right to explain that and expect something better. I get the feeling that there’s something else going on here, and you need to look at whether these people have a constructive point to make and how you want to move forwards. Let me know what happens.

By: Martha Kitisya

Martha Kitisya — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 12:47:41 +0000

I am a widow and I dont know what happened but suddenly everyone shouts at me and even my siblings tell me very painful things. I am willing and determined to change.

By: Steve

Steve — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 07:10:24 +0000

@Infinity: It does suck but, as you say, there are times when you simply have to do it. The tough bit is drawing together the courage to do it…

By: Infinity

Infinity — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 20:32:35 +0000

As hard as #4 is, sometimes, it’s your only remaining course of action. I personally have had to do this twice in my life and as much as it sucks, that kind of negativity, whether they mean harm or not, is not tolerable.

In the end, your choice here will determine how serious you are about maintaining a positive attitude in life.