The Confidence Guy

Wired into Truly Confident Living

Apr 06

Face Up to Your Mediocrity

Goals & productivity

Facing up to your mediocrity?Mediocrity is in your DNA.  It’s in mine too.

I’m okay at a lot of things.  I’m okay at jogging.  I’m okay at budgeting.  I’m okay at maintaining friendships.  I’m okay at cooking.

I’m not so great at more things.  I’m not great at sports (to put it mildly).  I’m not great at dating.  I’m not great at switching off and I just suck at dancing.  There are many, many things that I’ll only ever be average at and many things I’ll never be good at.  But you know what, that’s just fine.

My brain isn’t designed to be great at everything it does, and neither is yours. I don’t let my weaknesses define me and I don’t let them doubt my ability in other areas.

What if the fact that I’m “merely okay” at jogging made me jealous of people who ran past me in the park?  What if being “just okay” at maintaining friendships made me think less of myself when I met someone who has a wide circle of friends that they spend a lot of time nurturing?  What if being “just okay” at cooking meant that I wouldn’t eat out at restaurants because I’d get a complex about the guy in the kitchen who can cook better then me?

If you let low-confidence loose on the things you’re average or weak at you’ll go crazy.

Mediocrity is a part of my life, but it’s not all of my life, and the same goes for you.  You’re beaten the second you think that being average or below average at something makes you less than, and you’ve lost as soon as you equate being mediocre at things with living a mediocre life.

Your brain is designed to be great at certain things and grants you the ability to learn to be great at others.  You’ll only excel at a few things (normally the things you put the most effort into) and so it’s fair to say that the stuff you’re average at will out-number what you’re hands down great at.

The numbers and the ratio don’t matter – I simply don’t let what I’m average or weak at diminish what I’m great at and what I love.

I’m great at connecting with people.  I’m great at empathizing.  I’m great at juggling a whole load of different things at once.  I love laughing.  I love creativity.  Music makes me feel alive.

The things I’m great at make me buzz with life, like someone’s flicked a huge switch to the “on” position.  Those things are where I come alive, but I embrace the things I’m average at and the things I’m great at.  I acknowledge, work on and manage my weaknesses just as I acknowledge, make time for and enjoy what I love.  I have confidence in all of it.

If you don’t make friends with and have confidence in your own mediocrity you’ll never be able to do the same with what makes you come alive.

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5 Comments »
  • http://www.lionslinger.com Walter

    Believing in one’s self is extremely important if we want to grow as a person. I don’t believe in mediocrity, what I do know is that we can be great at anything we put our mind on. What constitutes our success in life is being happy at what we chose to be. :-)

  • Steve

    @Walter: Important indeed, but I do differ with you when you say that we can be great at anything we put our minds too. One of the fallacies that the self-improvement industry has peddled is that “you can do anything”, but unfortunately, I don’t believe that’s the case. Generally speaking you can be pretty good or average at most things if you put your mind to it, but that’s not the same as being great at *anything* and *everything*. That’s why it’s so important to know what you “chose to be” and have that based on what matters to you, because that’s where you can be more than great.

    Happiness in life is accepting the things you’re okay at as well as the things you’re great at.

  • Stoorm

    Thanks steve, liked this new topic you wrote about
    i think we need to define things more often same as u did, which always useful :)

  • Julia

    I agree on the fact that with some self-help, we are to believe we can be good at anything. But when I fail on something, it hits me harder in a sense because no matter how hard i focus to be, i can only be average, not the best. And if self-help ideas are giving me that I CAN be the best, then even though I improved from zero to five from a scale of ten, I’ll still feel like i’m not at my best and feel like a failure; Just because I’m not ‘perfect’ in that whatever area.

    I may be pretty good at it, but I may not be perfect at it.
    So don’t punish yourself and feel like a failure for not being perfect at it. Right?

  • Steve

    @Julia: Exactly. You got it. It’s about openly acknowledging what you’re just okay at (and always remember that being okay at something is *not* a bad thing) and have that free you up from all the self-doubt that can be caused by not being better. Thanks Julia!