I want you to forget all about self-confidence.  That’s my aim for everyone I work with and that’s a point I want EVERYONE to reach.

Let’s say you’re learning to dance the merengue.  And why the hell not.  At first you have no clue, but you’re aware that it’s some kind of South American thing, kinda like the lambada or salsa.  Your first classes are tough.  You’re clunking around, trying to remember what step’s coming next while forgetting that you should already have switched to a closed position.  Your feet ache, your partner is sympathetic but frustrated, and you’re wondering if you’ll ever nail it.

But then something interesting happens.  The music starts to make sense, the steps start to flow together rather than being separate, and you start to feel it.

You loosen up, start enjoying it and as you continue to “practice” you have it nailed.  The moves come naturally and you’re even able to improvise beyond the steps you’ve been taught.  You and your partner move as one, the rhythm always letting you know where you are and allowing you to be right there in the moment, a big smile slapped across your face.

I don’t dance the meringue personally because I dance like Ernest Borgnine, but I make a mean omelet.   I can establish trust with someone in moments.  I can always find humour in life.  I can spot problems in a digital marketing campaign and I can belt out a cracking version of “Beyond the Sea”.

I do all of those things without worrying about whether I’m confident enough to do them or not.

And that’s exactly where I want to take people.  To a place where the question of whether they’re confident enough never arises.

Because it’s the point at which you forget about being confident in something that you strike upon your natural confidence.

So while at first a new endeavor might feel clumsy, hard or awkward, with practice you can reach the point where confidence is felt in your bones.

Forget about confidence.  What matters is the dance.