One of my favourite stories is about the artist Pablo Picasso, who was travelling by train on a journey across Spain when he was recognised by one of his fellow passengers, a businessman who was used to getting his own way. After exchanging pleasantries, the businessman told Picasso that while he admired his success, he felt his paintings could be improved.

“How so?”, replied the bemused Picasso.

“Well,” the businessman began, “Your paintings are too abstract – you should paint things more as they really are.”

“Could you explain more specifically what you mean?” Picasso asked politely.

“Certainly!” the businessman replied, pulling a small photo from out of his briefcase. “Look at this photograph of my wife. This is how she actually looks – not some silly stylised representation.”

Picasso studied the photograph carefully for a few moments, then asked “This is how your wife actually looks?”

The businessman nodded proudly.

“She’s very small,” observed Picasso.

Always makes me giggle. But the reason for telling you that story is a round-about way of illustrating my point.

We all have things that we want to work on, things we would love to be different in our lives and things we’d love to improve. A big part of what I do is helping people to find the confidence to do what matters to them, but sometimes the way that’s achieved can be a real surprise.

A question I get asked a lot is “How do I do that?”, when people are looking to make some kind of shift in their lives. They want ways to get things done; strategies and courses of action that will take them where they want to go. That’s fine for a lot of things, but sometimes the best thing to do is just allow things to happen the way they will naturally.

People often feel better having something to do and feel more confident when they think they’re taking action. Sometimes, just sometimes, the best way to create something amazing in life is to allow it to take shape – just like one of Picasso’s paintings. Picasso didn’t force his paintings to come out one particular way, he didn’t insist they had to look a specific way.

He just did what came naturally and allowed the paintings to take shape.

If something doesn’t seem to be progressing or if something just won’t work out the way you want it to, it might be that it’s just not ready to work out in the way that you want it to. It could be that the environment, the people, the intent, the will or the timing isn’t in the right place to get the result you want. So you have a choice – either continue spending energy working, worrying and becoming frustrated as you try to force things down a road that isn’t ready to be travelled, or simply take a step back, relax, breathe, and allow it to happen naturally.

I’m a bit of a control freak and like to have my soldiers neatly lined up in a row, and sometimes I have to tell myself to take a step back and relax. I wouldn’t dare call you a control freak, but, chances are that the thought of letting things happen without your control, input or influence is one that’s making you a little nervy.

Allowing things to happen takes real confidence and is one of the most powerful and liberating things you can do. It’s not about ‘not doing anything‘ or ‘giving up‘ – it’s actually an active process and a specific attitude.

Find the confidence to allow your life to happen and there’ll be a welcome party for you in the Winners Enclosure.