As a single guy on St Valentines Day, romance, relationships, couples and love are things that are hard to escape. Whether you like it or not the trappings of St Valentines Day can be seen everywhere.

Now, I’ll put my hands up right now and tell you that I’m not the greatest person at romantic relationships. I’ve screwed up my fair share, pushed people away to protect myself and run around in circles wondering how things ’should’ be done.

Since I’ve been coaching I’ve learned a heck of a lot about relationships. I know that it’s important to know what you really need from a relationship; I know that you need to be in a place where you feel ready to be in a partnership with someone; I know you need to open up your baggage so that it doesn’t weigh you down or steer things in the wrong direction; I know that relationships aren’t about blaming someone else for what’s wrong or wanting to be right; I know that the things you like and love about your partner are what matter, not what you don’t like, and I know that it’s important for you to take care of yourself in a relationship and that sometimes that means that you have to make tough choices to do the best thing for you.

But what I’ve also learned is that all of that stuff is useless without one thing.

All those tips, all that advice, all those traps and all those checks and balances mean nothing unless you agree to do one thing -

Be ready to make it up as you go along.

Love isn’t about game playing and it isn’t about logic. Relationships and the whole “loving someone” thing are scary, confusing and unpredictable. They’re often the most unreasonable and illogical things we humans have to deal with.

I call it ‘freefall’ because there’s a point where you simply have to let yourself go; a point where you have to loosen your grip and let gravity take its course. Freefall takes a lot of self-confidence - you have to trust yourself pretty darn well, be willing to take risks and have a big bag full of courage ready to go.

So on this St. Valentines Day, throw away the rules, throw away the ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and forget about what ’should’ happen, how you ’should play things’ or how you ’should’ feel.

Be willing to make it up as you go along. Be willing to let your heart play a bigger role. Be willing to admit that you don’t know what you’re doing and be willing to take a chance.

As far as love goes, we’re all in the same boat. Play from the heart.