Comments on: Don’t ya just love validation? http://theconfidenceguyonline.com/2008/04/dont-ya-just-love-validation/ Wired into Truly Confident Living Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:03:15 +0100 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Steve http://theconfidenceguyonline.com/2008/04/dont-ya-just-love-validation/comment-page-1/#comment-271 Steve Sat, 02 Aug 2008 11:49:15 +0000 http://theconfidenceguyonline.com/?p=73#comment-271 I'm all too familiar with what you're talking about Ally. There's a lot behind what you're saying, too much to cover in a response here, but don't let the lack of reciprocation get in the way of what's important to you - helping those people who are close to you. '<i>Doing the right thing</i>' all the time can be tough, and you can land yourself in trouble by setting idealistic expectations of yourself. You're allowed to put yourself first, that doesn't make you a bad person. Friends come and go, so don't be afraid to let go of friendships that might not be working anymore. You're allowed to do that too. One more thing - have you ever asked a friend for help? I’m all too familiar with what you’re talking about Ally. There’s a lot behind what you’re saying, too much to cover in a response here, but don’t let the lack of reciprocation get in the way of what’s important to you – helping those people who are close to you.

‘Doing the right thing‘ all the time can be tough, and you can land yourself in trouble by setting idealistic expectations of yourself. You’re allowed to put yourself first, that doesn’t make you a bad person.

Friends come and go, so don’t be afraid to let go of friendships that might not be working anymore. You’re allowed to do that too.

One more thing – have you ever asked a friend for help?

]]> By: Alex Shallmy http://theconfidenceguyonline.com/2008/04/dont-ya-just-love-validation/comment-page-1/#comment-270 Alex Shallmy Sat, 02 Aug 2008 04:30:57 +0000 http://theconfidenceguyonline.com/?p=73#comment-270 Thanks for your words, I belive I have had issues with seaking validation most of my life. I know I am extremely talented in lots of areas, much more that your average person. But I seak validation socially. I can't work out if its just that I am surounding myself with the wrong people or if becuase I'm trying so hard to "Do the right thing". I am constantly feeling like all my friendships are one sided as I constantly praise and encourange people for what they do, but for some reason everything I do seams to be un-noticed and unvalidated. Weather is be cooking a beautiful dinner for my friends, giving good advice and supourt, or acheiving my goals. I feel like I'm constantly giving and not receiving and this has made me constantly seek validation from others, and Its like the more I try to get validation the less external validation I get!! Its weird, I feel that If I stop doing things for people then I won't have any friends anymore. That is why I just seam to keep banging my head against a brick wall! When I do finally give up giving from lack of receiving my friendships just seam to fizzel out. Can someone tell me what I'm doing wrong? Or what Im doing right? Its so confusing!! Thanks Ally Thanks for your words,

I belive I have had issues with seaking validation most of my life. I know I am extremely talented in lots of areas, much more that your average person. But I seak validation socially.

I can’t work out if its just that I am surounding myself with the wrong people or if becuase I’m trying so hard to “Do the right thing”. I am constantly feeling like all my friendships are one sided as I constantly praise and encourange people for what they do, but for some reason everything I do seams to be un-noticed and unvalidated. Weather is be cooking a beautiful dinner for my friends, giving good advice and supourt, or acheiving my goals. I feel like I’m constantly giving and not receiving and this has made me constantly seek validation from others, and Its like the more I try to get validation the less external validation I get!!

Its weird, I feel that If I stop doing things for people then I won’t have any friends anymore. That is why I just seam to keep banging my head against a brick wall! When I do finally give up giving from lack of receiving my friendships just seam to fizzel out.

Can someone tell me what I’m doing wrong? Or what Im doing right? Its so confusing!!

Thanks Ally

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