The Confidence Guy

Really, it does. To illustrate, it’s a gorgeous, warm, sunny Saturday evening and I’m at home writing articles. It’s not a sudden thing, this has kinda crept up on me.

My friends are coupled up, settling down, having families and I’m simply not seeing much of them any more. My social life with old friends is shrinking fast, and it’s left a bit of a hole. Normally people meet friends through work, but even though I’m a sociable animal at heart and having fun is incredibly important to me, it seems that I’ve made this a little more complicated for myself.

Coaching by it’s nature is a solitary profession. I have a session with a client and after 45 minutes the session ends and we both get moving again. I’m lucky enough to have friends who are ex-clients and, but these individuals are rare. By necessity, the focus of coaching is uni-directional, so the opportunity of building a friendship doesn’t come along very often. I also have some friends who are coaches, but with some very notable exceptions I often find other coaches to be a little too ‘Stepford Wives’ for my liking.

That’s exactly why I do my freelance project management work – because it puts me in a room with other people who I have to work closely with to deliver something. Other than earning some good money, my main aim from the freelancing is to socialise. I meet all kinds of good people, I go for drinks after work and when I move on I keep in touch with those who I’ve connected with.

The problem is that I’ve had to become so disciplined that I haven’t realised how disciplined I’ve become. My freelancing takes up a lot of time and energy during the week, on top of which I write at least 4 articles a week and hold client sessions during evenings and weekends.

That means I have to be ultra-organised, and ultra-focused on what I’m doing and what’s next. I make a hundred decisions a day as a project manager and am pretty much tuckered out by the end of the week, but I can’t be on bad form for my clients. I need to do what I need to so that I’m firing on all cylinders to be able to conduct a good session and give my all to it.

Consequently I pile a lot of pressure on myself, and make decisions that mean I don’t go out because I know I have to be on top of my game.

That kinda sucks, because as Jack Nicholson famously said, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

As I said, this has kinda crept up on me, but what to do about it? I could jack in the freelancing which would give me much more time. While I wouldn’t miss the Big Messy Project, I’d miss the people I work with and I know that I get bored working from home by myself for long periods. I could cut back on the writing and coaching. But I know how important that it to me and that I need to do it.

So what I’m going to do is this. I’m gonna take some risks. I’m gonna say ”What the Hell’ more often. I’m gonna let relationships develop rather than managing or controlling them so that I can be ‘on top form’. I’m gonna live a little more instead of managing my life.