There are a few things that separate the truly confident from the majority – the ability to make decisions, the ability to be okay with things, the ability to trust their behaviour, the ability to plug into what matters and – last but certainly not least – the ability to listen to what’s really going on, deep inside.
I’m talking about the truth of what’s happening in your life; I’m talking about that little voice inside you that knows exactly what’s going on.
Yeah, I know that talking about’the little voice inside you’ might sound cliched or twee, but I guarantee you have one. Everybody does. It tells you the truth about what you’re feeling and what you’re experiencing, as well as the truth about the circumstances and situations you find yourself in.
It’s a pretty damn handy thing to have, let me tell you.
There have been times when I didn’t listen to my voice, when I pushed it back in its box, closed the lid, drove out to the desert, dug a very deep hole and buried it. I totally ignored what I was trying to tell myself, that I was in the wrong place doing the wrong thing, and I paid a heavy price for ignoring myself.
I didn’t talk for a month. Scratch that, I couldn’t talk for a month because my head couldn’t fathom anything that was being said let alone try to frame a response. Time became elastic, some days seemingly taking a week to pass while at other times a week would pass in an afternoon. Everything just stopped, broken, and it took over a year to get myself back together.
I know that I could have avoided all of that if I hadn’t ignored what was really happening and heard what that little voice was trying to tell me, and I know there are many others not listening who are in the wrong place doing the wrong thing.
So over the years I’ve learned to trust that little voice. I notice when it has something to say and I encourage it to say it. I give it the space and time it needs to figure out what’s happening and let me know, and man alive I’m glad that’s a lesson I’ve learned.
Your voice knows exactly what’s happening in your life. It knows that part of the deal with being human is that your feelings and emotions go up and down, and yes, sometimes they’re confusing, unpredictable and downright painful. It knows that your feelings are where you experience your life and everything in it. It knows that if you cut yourself off from your feelings you’ll be cutting yourself off from your own life and you’ll feel disconnected from everything.
That little voice of yours is your connection between you and your life.
If you’re pursuing something that isn’t right for you your voice will try to tell you. If you’re wasting time doing something that doesn’t matter your voice will try to tell you. If there’s something you crave your voice will let you know about it. And if you’re ignoring something important your voice will point it out to you.
What truly confident people know is that they need to listen to the messages they’re telling themselves, whether it’s something they want to hear or not.
Are you confident enough to listen to your own voice, even if it tells you things you might not want to hear?