“Just relax and let me take your stresses and strains away”, “Come and stay in my luxury villa – it’s right on the beach” and “Would you like cheque for an this extraordinarily large amount of money?” are 3 questions I’d strongly advise answering with an impassioned “Yes”, but that’s a bit of a no brainer.

There are 3 other questions that determine whether you’ll get what you want in life. 3 questions that you might be asking yourself every day, without even being aware of it. 3 questions that, if you answer “No” to any one of them, will make you less confident and stop you from getting what you want.

Want to know what they are?

Okay, I’ll tell you.

1. Is it possible for me?
   The first question makes you look at what you want to have, do or be and ask yourself this – do I honestly believe it’s possible for me to have it?

   If you want a job that works for you, do you believe it’s possible for you to have it?

   If you want a relationship that gives you what you need, do you believe it’s possible for you to have it?

   If you want to feel great about yourself and have all the confidence in the world, do you believe it’s possible for you to have it?

   Dig deep and be honest with yourself.

   There’s a balance between what’s possible and what’s realistic – don’t get the 2 confused. If you decide that you want to pull in $250k next year that’s all well and good, but if all you’re taking home this year is $30k then it’s probably not realistic. If you’ve decided that you want to get hitched to your dream man in the next 6 months and you’ve only been on 1 date in the last year, then you might want to think again. These things aren’t impossible, but they’re not entirely realistic either.

   Much better to start with a figure of £50k or to make decisions about how you can get more of the right kinds of dates first, and then build from there.

   The key is to honestly think about whether it’s realistically possible for you to have what you want. If you answer no, challenge yourself. Is it actually not possible, or do you just believe that it isn’t possible? There’s a world of difference.

2. Do I have the ability?
   This second question makes you look at what you want to have, do or be and ask yourself – do I have the ability to get what I want?

   This question forces you to look at whether you have the ability or capability to make something happen, but don’t confuse that with thinking you need to have all the answers right now. You don’t.

   If you don’t currently have the ability – and that could because you lack a key skill, because you need to work on something or because there’s a piece of experience you don’t have – ask yourself whether you have the ability to learn it.

   This question is all about how much confidence you have in how capable you are. If you don’t feel like you’re good enough or if you don’t trust your ability to see something happen you’ll find it tough to answer ‘Yes’ to this one.

3. Do I deserve it?
   This last question is a tricky one, and often reveals how you really feel about yourself. This is about your self-esteem and self-worth, so ask yourself if you believe that you deserve to have, do or be what you want, and be brutally honest with yourself.

   The answer to this question has nothing to do with having ‘paid your dues’ or ‘put in the hours’. While sometimes you have to work hard to get what you want those factors are irrelevant in terms of whether you feel personally worthy of getting what you want.

   This is simply about whether you feel that you deserve an outstanding life, whether your self-worth is equal to or greater than the value you’ve placed on what you’re looking for.

   Answer ‘No’ to this one and you’ll need to do some serious work to get your self-worth and self-esteem up to the point where you truly feel like you deserve to have what you want.

Possible? Able? Worthy?. Just 3 simple questions.

Whether it’s a fantastic new job, a big boost in your self- confidence, a special someone to share your life with or a new pair of shoes, if you can answer ‘Yes’ to each one of these questions you’ll have the foundations in place for achieving whatever you want.