I’ve been ill since July, and the novelty’s now worn off.

So this isn’t a post about being more confident, it’s a post about how crappy I’m feeling.

Having gone to the Docs several times he shrugged his shoulders and told me I had post viral fatigue and that it’ll sort itself out eventually.

A 40 year medical career and I get a shrug of the shoulders.  Brilliant.

Not willing to leave it at that I went to a nutritionist, who told me I’ve also got adrenal fatigue.  I eat healthily anyway (other than my love of cheese, without which I fear I’d perish), so all she suggested was taking 8 different supplement pills each day and spitting into four vials before sending them away to a boffin in a lab coat.

What this means is that since July I’ve had zero energy and catch every cold and flu bug under the sun.  Today, again, I woke up and felt the tell tale sign of aches, pains and dizziness, my head has that familiar full-of-porridge feeling and I can’t stop napping.

Brilliant.  I never even got over the last cold.

I know this is something I have to put up with until it goes and that there are folks out there with real problems, but I just hate how it’s been getting in the way of me enjoying my life — particularly Christmas, which is my absolute favourite time of year.  I’m not used to not being able to be on top form, and it feels like an age ago when I was last firing on all cylinders.

What troubles me more is that over the last week I’ve noticed there’s a bit more negativity creeping into my outlook, which really sucks.  I’ve been down on stuff, snappish and moody.  This isn’t the Steve I’m used to at Christmas.

I can’t control what my body does, but having spotted this creeping-negativity happening I have a big say in what my head does.

I know I can do things to turn that negativity around and I can focus on the simple things.

So I’m gonna take it easy this Christmas.  Not so much booze, not so much partying and plenty of early nights.  I should have cleaned the house and done a bunch of writing today, but I took this afternoon to lounge in my chair, watch ‘Superman Returns‘ and have a nap.

It was lovely.

With a bit of luck and a lot of patience (never one of my strong points), I’ll be back into the Christmas spirit and will have this thing beat before I can say “Shove your pills right up your a**e“.