The Confidence Guy

Wired into Truly Confident Living

Feb 11

Confident enough to break the rules?The naughties might be over, but that’s no reason to stop being naughty.  In fact, I downright encourage it.

While you certainly have to get in the game if you want to win, success isn’t necessarily achieved by playing by the established rules of the game.  Whatever you’re working on, whatever game you’re in, whatever you’re building, you have to ask 2 questions:

  1. Who made these rules up anyway?
  2. Why did I assume this was the only way?

Success isn’t achieved by following a well-trodden path, particularly as an entrepreneur.  You won’t win by playing by someone else’s rules or by assuming things need to be done a certain way.  By all means learn from your role models and mentors, but don’t blindly follow what they – or anyone else – has done.  They did it their way, and there’s no guarantee the same rules will work for you.

Whatever you do, don’t read this book and take everything I say for word… Don’t ever be afraid to put your feet in that water, whether I’ve said a word about it or not.” – Gary Vaynerchuk, “Crush It”.

Success, particularly in todays tech-enabled world, is down to innovation.  Or in other words, success isn’t about how other people have done it, it’s how you want to do it.

That’s not to say you should tear around like a bull in a china shop or make outrageous claims about yourself that you simply can’t deliver on, but you have to give yourself permission to step out and break the rules.  You gotta be bold and brave enough to make up your own rules for achieving what matters to you, and to hell with what the establishment might think.

I have some fresh ideas in the works that I’m excited about, and while I continue to listen to and learn from the people I respect I’m also ready to put their advice to one side and make things up as I go.  It doesn’t matter whether I do what folks expect or not, and neither does it matter whether I go about things in the way I’d expect to normally.  What matters is that I play well and innovate.

I think this takes guts and confidence, and it’s why most budding entrepreneurs trip themselves up at the first hurdle.  It requires that you spend time being uncomfortable, because growth and change don’t happen while you’re sitting comfortably. The confidence to break the rules, to be happy being uncomfortable and to innovate by using everything you have and everything you are is what allows you to change the game.  And it can be learned.

Success is not about playing by the rules, it’s about being naughty.

What do you think?

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  • http://www.carosnatch.com caro snatch

    nice lil nuggets for thought/expansion. will be poppin back :>

  • Steve

    @Caro: Thanks m’dear, holler if there’s anything I can help out with.

  • Lynn

    I think complacency is a big enemy if you want to be great.
    Another thing I noticed… “in other words, success isn’t about how other people have done it, it’s how you want to do it.” There’s a story I would like to tell you…
    A little girl saw her mom cooking ham for Thanksgiving dinner and how she cut off the each end. “Mommy, why do you cut off the each end of the ham?” “Mmmm…That’s how grandma cooked.” So she went and asked the grandma. And the grandma said because her mom did it. So she went and asked her great grandma. She said it was because the family was too poor to afford a pot big enough that fit the ham… And that was years and years ago.
    People tend to accept what they see and hear and don’t even question…giving no room for improvement! :)

  • Steve

    @Lynn: Nice little story, and a great example of how assumptions and expectations shape behaviour. I’ll be asking clients how they cook their ham from now on…

  • http://ijumped.net Michael

    I can’t believe it!

    I’m 47 next month and still trying to be an entrepreneur. Well, no – I know I am one really, but until I read this phrase I was really missing something:

    “It requires that you spend time being uncomfortable”

    I somehow got it into my head (probably thanks to some of the “gurus” out there) that if something “feels” difficult, uncomfortable etc., then it can’t be for me; that I’ve chosen the wrong idea to develop. Now, I can see what they’re saying – I mean, if I hate doing something or have no interest in it, then maybe I won’t persist with it.

    But what I was getting wrong was not realising that I am bound to face considerable discomfort and unease if I am doing something different; trying out a new idea on the world.

    I feel such a fool – managing that thing about “being uncomfortable” is clearly one of the basic “features” of being an entrepreneur, and I see that as clear as day now.

    This is a great help. Thanks.

    Michael
    .-= Check out Michael´s last blog…MayDay – An Early Lesson in Risk Diversification =-.

  • Steve

    @Michael: So great to hear about your BIG INSIGHT! You’re right, doing something different or trying something new will always involve a little discomfort – the trick is to use your values, strengths and talents to outweigh that discomfort. That’s confidence. And don’t feel a fool – you’re clearly not!