Comments on: Why Do You Lose Confidence in Yourself?

By: Nicola Timms

Nicola Timms — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:49:00 +0000

Returning to your own country after such a long time is like landing in a strange country. In 2010 I returned to Europe after 27 years of absence and so far it’s been a nightmare. I can’t get settled anywhere and find that I am discriminated by people in countries quite close to the one where I was born and raised, just because I live my life differently. So much for the European passport! It’s a load of bull. Even in my own country I expect to be treated like an outsider for some years to come.
Always remember your reasons why you left Isreal… why you wanted to go back to England. Perhaps you need to be patient? It sure is something I need to learn…
The above article is quite interesting, and yes, my brain has been misleading me in terms of how I should have been reacting to social circumstances, completely pulling the carpet from under my feet in the process.
In terms of the question (how I have been behaving), my answer is: in all three ways.
I wish I’d known sooner!

By: Natalie

Natalie — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 18:29:00 +0000

Playing an old role in an old place where I have failed before and moved on to something new to mask where I actually wanted to be. I actually felt overwhelmed and the memories of the past situation just kept hunting me.

By: Jenny

Jenny — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 21:06:00 +0000

after returning to the uk, after 18years, i immediately knew i had made a mistake. this was supposed to be familiar territory. i tried to sell the apart here. no luck. [economy sit]. so for the sake of my health, am renting this place. i will return to israel, where i have friends.but no apart. ready
to arrive to. will stay with my son,s family. have lost my confidence!
how to learn to re-adjust? how to learn to trust myself again. and the shaky
feeling inside…….

By: Slim

Slim — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 13:58:00 +0000

Hey Steve! I’ve seen all 3 in my case. I dread doing anything new, although I know I will eventually get comfortable doing it. I’m scared I’ll screw things up. I behave in a certain way with certain people. I become tongue-tied in the company of a few. And I expect a lot from those close to me and end up getting disappointed. But far worse, are the expectations I think people have of me. I want to stand up to their expectations of me. Else, I feel disappointed. Because of this, I sometimes don’t speak my mind, I end of fighting with my best friends and I’m not able to excel at work.

However, after reading this article, I’ve made a few action points. I’m starting to believe that confidence is not lost. That itself has given me a lot of confidence. I’ll recognize the places where I’m low on confidence and just be myself during these situations.

Thank you!

By: Slim

Slim — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 13:58:00 +0000

Thank you!

By: Horsewoman2002

Horsewoman2002 — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 14:15:00 +0000

Truly loved this article on a day I needed it. I believe I fit 2 of the categories. First, I am recently retired after 33 years in a busy, responsible job and feeling a little bit lost and a little bit “less” needed (both my boys are grown and out of the house plus my grand daughters moved 1200 miles away right at the time I retired). Also I have the problem about expectations and keep second guessing what others expect of ME, which is probably ridiculous as it is counter productive. I have always been very happy and confident, but feel my confidence slipping. My passions have been horseback riding and motorcycle riding and I am losing confidence there as well (a minor motorcycle crash due to my own stupidity yesterday certainly did not help—but luckily I was not hurt!!!!

By: Steve Errey - Confidence Guy

Steve Errey - Confidence Guy — Sun, 22 May 2011 11:40:00 +0000

It’s hard to leave that rulebook behind, especially when there’s years and years of behaviour that’s been based around them.

A couple of simple ways to keep this idea in mind and to snap yourself out of the rules is by asking yourself one of these questions:

What’s a better way of doing this?
What’s another way of doing this?
How can this work better?
What am I doing here that isn’t serving me well?

It takes some practice to ask yourself those questions, step outside of what you’d normally do and be honest and insightful about your answers, but it’s entirely doable.

Let me know how you get on.

By: What’s something you’ve done that took confidence? | The Confidence Guy

What’s something you’ve done that took confidence? | The Confidence Guy — Tue, 17 May 2011 14:14:28 +0000

[...] just as Tina, Rob and Ella found. You could say that the 3 of them had a distinct lack of feeling not-confident; they found themselves in a place where there was no un-confidence; the one thing that was absent [...]

By: Marina

Marina — Mon, 09 May 2011 22:33:00 +0000

I love what u’ve written, it really opened my eyes. I always go around with a rulebook that contains milions of rules but whenever i try to leave this book i kind of do not succeed completely it comes back to me and i dont even notice that
what do u think i shall do?

By: Steve Errey - Confidence Guy

Steve Errey - Confidence Guy — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 15:33:00 +0000

You’re bang on – confidence never dies, just gets forgotten about. So cool to hear that you’re back in your groove