Comments on: Why Do You Lose Confidence in Yourself?

By: JENIFER

JENIFER — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 19:21:00 +0000

lived in israel for 18years, 2 yers ago, decided to return to the uk. sensible decsion. full language etc. but could not pick up old connections, felt isolated. desire to return to israel. couln,t sell apart. rented it out. shipped
stuff back. home pries up by 27% since leaving israel. am renting here on proceeds of london rental. moved into tiny place..hit anxiety and panic.
after 3 days, began to accept that this IS where i am. but loss of confidence. JM

By: Jilly

Jilly — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 16:43:00 +0000

I sometimes feel unworthy of things, also I have hangups about my weight and appearance – A few pounds can make the difference between a good day and a day, when I just do not want to go out. These all link to situations in my past – numerous. I now feel old, fat and ugly and struggle to lose any weight. How do I break free from all these thoughts?

I just want to find a way of not worrying what people think, feel they are looking at me in disgust, feel the fear of rejection or confrontation.

By: Qjohnson

Qjohnson — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 16:01:00 +0000

that’s the best article i have read so far about the topic. that’s my problem ”
So leave the rulebook behind. So stop living your life according to a set of expectancies that might not be true. Don’t assume how you should behave, don’t assume how other people need to behave and don’t make assumptions about how other people expect you behave. It’ll drive you crazy.” but the question is how to implement it?! I just can’t control things going on on my mind eventhough i know how it should be..

By: Anhvanbui

Anhvanbui — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:06:00 +0000

I love to hear that you find it help when reading this article. I myself feel it useful also, and hope you will regain your confidence and success in your new job

By: Utc

Utc — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 12:14:00 +0000

I had been successfully working as a project manager in an IT company. I had several and timely promotions to appreciate my work. However something went wrong since last 3-4 years that due to these role changes, my interaction with my team went diminishing and I actually started relaxing on that. After a while I started cutting off from other activities as well since it was being managed by my juiniors. However, now it has come to that dangerous point that I’m litterally scared of any new assignment that kicks in. I had lost the confidence in doing any job or taking any responsibility.

I feel as if somebody has stolen my confidence and filled it with unwanted anxiety and stress I’m currently running on anti-depressants.

I read your article and I think it clarifies some of my doubts but specific help indeed will help. Thanks

By: Nicola Timms

Nicola Timms — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:49:00 +0000

Returning to your own country after such a long time is like landing in a strange country. In 2010 I returned to Europe after 27 years of absence and so far it’s been a nightmare. I can’t get settled anywhere and find that I am discriminated by people in countries quite close to the one where I was born and raised, just because I live my life differently. So much for the European passport! It’s a load of bull. Even in my own country I expect to be treated like an outsider for some years to come.
Always remember your reasons why you left Isreal… why you wanted to go back to England. Perhaps you need to be patient? It sure is something I need to learn…
The above article is quite interesting, and yes, my brain has been misleading me in terms of how I should have been reacting to social circumstances, completely pulling the carpet from under my feet in the process.
In terms of the question (how I have been behaving), my answer is: in all three ways.
I wish I’d known sooner!

By: Natalie

Natalie — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 18:29:00 +0000

Playing an old role in an old place where I have failed before and moved on to something new to mask where I actually wanted to be. I actually felt overwhelmed and the memories of the past situation just kept hunting me.

By: Jenny

Jenny — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 21:06:00 +0000

after returning to the uk, after 18years, i immediately knew i had made a mistake. this was supposed to be familiar territory. i tried to sell the apart here. no luck. [economy sit]. so for the sake of my health, am renting this place. i will return to israel, where i have friends.but no apart. ready
to arrive to. will stay with my son,s family. have lost my confidence!
how to learn to re-adjust? how to learn to trust myself again. and the shaky
feeling inside…….

By: Slim

Slim — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 13:58:00 +0000

Hey Steve! I’ve seen all 3 in my case. I dread doing anything new, although I know I will eventually get comfortable doing it. I’m scared I’ll screw things up. I behave in a certain way with certain people. I become tongue-tied in the company of a few. And I expect a lot from those close to me and end up getting disappointed. But far worse, are the expectations I think people have of me. I want to stand up to their expectations of me. Else, I feel disappointed. Because of this, I sometimes don’t speak my mind, I end of fighting with my best friends and I’m not able to excel at work.

However, after reading this article, I’ve made a few action points. I’m starting to believe that confidence is not lost. That itself has given me a lot of confidence. I’ll recognize the places where I’m low on confidence and just be myself during these situations.

Thank you!

By: Slim

Slim — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 13:58:00 +0000

Thank you!